And then every nerve in her screamed: Kiss him!
by flyinvisible
Summary: This is a story about the nerve Paul, part of Kate Beckett. Unfortunately the unresolved tension between Castle and Beckett doesn't make things easy for Paul. Maybe a session with the therapist will help him.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a story about the nerve Paul, part of Kate Beckett. Unfortunately the unsolved tension between Castle and Beckett doesn't make things easy for Paul. Maybe a session with the therapist will help him._

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except maybe - Paul the nerve. But considering Paul as a part of Kate Beckett and Kate Beckett being owned by Andrew Marlow - I'm not even sure whether I own Paul :D

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><p>It was dark in the therapist room. In a corner of it Paul sat, lonely and broken. He seemed to be exhausted.<p>

_"This is now our third session"_ the therapist said as paul didn't seem to start a conversation _"and you still haven't said a single word. I know Sometimes it's difficult to speak. Paul. Why are you here?"_

Paul was still facing the floor. He sighed but still didn't say anything.

Roger waited. He knew that Paul was eventually going to speak. And So he waited.  
>They Both waited.<br>It was half an hour later as Paul sighed again, finally looking up for the first time.

_"It's just too much sometimes, you know. It's frustrating and exhausting."_ he said and turned his head to the window watching the snow fall outside.

_"What is too much?"_ Roger asking still facing Paul, his eyes never leaving the small figure on the other side of the room.

_"You know, first I thought this was a great job. Working for Kate Beckett. She's an amazing woman and yes, her past makes things more… Interesting._  
><em>So when i started everything was okay. If only Rick Castle hadn't appeared. He made everything difficult."<em>  
>Paul turned his eyes away from the snow flakes and faced the floor again. He noticed the dust on it. Flakes just like the snow, small and tiny, just like him.<p>

_"What changed?"_ the therapist asked him.

_"She's just so stubborn."_ Paul shouted out.  
><em>"We tell her all the time: Kiss him. But she never listens. We scream at her, but she never listens. She just backs away."<em>  
>Paul now faced the therapist, who saw the anger all over the nerve's face.<p>

_"You know that one time"_ Paul went on_ "that one time in the alley where he kissed her. Suddenly, totally unexpected. He just grabbed her and kissed her. And she just accepted it. Someone had been already sent away to get up some champangner. David had already started the music and everyone was ready for the party. And then she backed away. The mood was down within miliseconds. Nobody could believe it. From far away we heard the bottle of champagner crash onto the brain as the nerve that was send to get it stumbled over his own nerve endings in shock. A second later everyone of us started to scream. Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him. We went on until we felt her move in to him and then everyone held their breath. It felt like an eternity until she finally connected her lips to his and then everyone burst into applause. The butterfly-nerves started to do a happy dance which would make Castle's happy dance look like a somersault, and everyone joined in. Somehow the champangner finally arrived. When Kate broke the kiss to break down the guard everyod was dancing and screaming and nobody could control themselves."_

The therapist watched the tiny nerve. His face was happy now but then he saw the feeling fade as paul continued to speak.

_"That was the happiest moment of my life so far. But then..."_  
>Paul stopped talking and looked out of the window again.<p>

_"What happened then?"_ Roger asked him and leaned forward leaning his chin on one of his hands.

Paul looked up and it was now the first time that he actually looked into the therapist's eyes. And as he spoke the words had a touch of finality in it.  
><em>"She was aware now, finally - of her feelings. She knew how it felt. And she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop herself now that she knew. That's why she decided to never let it happen again. And so we built up her wall - stronger than it ever was, because now she was aware of it."<em>

Paul stopped talking,  
>Roger watched the tiny figure in front of him, he tried to get him to go on talking but it wouldn't help. Slowly Paul got up.<p>

_"Until next week."_ he said before he left the room and went back - to work.

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><p><em>Okay so I was reading a fanfic (I'll let you know when I remember which one) and then I read something like:<em>  
><em>And then every nerve in her screamed: Kiss him.<br>**If you recognize this as your words then please let me know - I've really forgotten which fic it was.  
><strong>__And then this idea somehow hid me and I immediately wrote it down in the middle of the night.  
><em>_This hasn't been beta-read so far but I'll work on it.  
><em>_Let me know what you think, I'm thinking about maybe continuing :D_


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm sorry that it took me so long. Thank you for everyone that reviewed and like this story. I'm still not so sure about it but I'll continue. I also apolgize that this chapter is so very short._

_Disclaimer: I still own nothing. And I'm still not sure whether I own Paul. _

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><p>Actually it was already the next day when Paul got back into the therapist's office. He sat down in his usual chair and faced the floor.<p>

They sat so for a while and listened to the sound of the road outside.

"A few weeks later she realized that what she told herself back then in the alley wouldn't be so easy. She would fight us away everytime she saw him. But she wouldn't have a chance against the nerves of her heart. She wouldn't have a chance against me. It was a few weeks later and they had to do that undercover mission. And then Valentines Day and- and. I'm sorry."

"What happened then?" Roger asked the tiny nerve that seemed to remember a terrible experience. Paul shivered for a second. He was far away with his thoughts. Facing the floor and holding his face in his hands as he to steady himself. Only as the therapist called his name, he looked up, taking his surroundings in as if he'd just awoken from a deep dream.  
>He began to shiver again as he spoke, his voice full of pain and - was that coldness?<p>

"The freezer. They were going to die. They were So close. She was So scared. The bomb. The - the."  
>Roger watched Paul in his corner and stopped him.<br>"Hey Paul, calm down, you're safe here. What happened then?"  
>"She was about to tell him that she loves him, But it was too late. It was So cold and - and…"<br>The nerve stopped for a moment. The memories had somehow overtaken his mind and a tear started to roll down his cheek.  
>"Then Josh came."<br>"Who's Josh?" Roger asked.  
>"Her boyfriend. We tried to push him away But She didn't allow it. He's a gone guy but he's not the right one for her."<br>"And what about that bomb you were talking about?"  
>"Why can't she just see it and admit. He saved them from the bomb and he held her in his arms. And she- our heart broke for him as xD had to watch him wall away after he diffused the bomb and she stayed with Josh. It's just so wrong. They could be happy. They deserve to be happy. But she's afraid. I'm also afraid."<br>And with that Paul stood up and left the room. He went back to work, although he knew it would kill him inside, to watch her not taking the happiness that was waiting right in front of him. She deserved it. She deserved to be happy. Paul wanted her to be happy. Because he loved her…

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><p><em>Thoughts? 3<em>


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